{"id":4889,"date":"2013-11-11T07:37:42","date_gmt":"2013-11-11T14:37:42","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/worldwanderlusting.com\/?p=4889"},"modified":"2016-06-13T15:23:55","modified_gmt":"2016-06-13T21:23:55","slug":"i-make-my-travel-decisions-like-i-make-my-vasectomy-decisions","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/worldwanderlusting.com\/?p=4889","title":{"rendered":"I Make My Travel Decisions Like I Make My Vasectomy Decisions"},"content":{"rendered":"

“Valium? Hell yes, I’ll have a Valium,” I say. \u00a0I’m not going to pretend I’m not nervous. Any procedure involving man-parts is uncomfortable, and the idea of being cut is unnerving, but you put those two together and, wow, we’re talking white-knuckle, throat-knotted skittishness. Hooker in church, nothing.<\/p>\n

But it’s worse than that. \u00a0The parts of me that are distinctly male are not in the aged hands of an eminently capable doctor with 30 years of experience, but in the quavering clutches of a bright-eyed student… and this isn’t my Adam’s Apple we’re talking about.<\/p>\n

Yes, I’ve opted to have a vasectomy performed at a Medical School. It’s not convenient… I had to drive over an hour to get here. \u00a0It’s not the way I had ever envisioned it… we’ve already discussed how nervous I am. \u00a0But it is cheap, in fact, it’s almost free… and that’s why I’m here.<\/p>\n

You’re wondering if you’re really reading about this on a travel blog. Well, yes, you are… and I’m getting to that. You see, I make my travel decisions like I make my vasectomy decisions.<\/p>\n

What Does This Story Have to do With Travel?<\/h2>\n

I’m standing on a stone wall, overcome by a sense of awe. \u00a0Rather than enjoy the moment, I’m doing what everyone does these days, snapping an infinite number of pictures, applying filters, and dreaming up hashtags.<\/p>\n

But then I pause. \u00a0I look at Nicole, the love of my life, and together we ponder what lays before us, an island in the sky. \u00a0The morning fog has lifted, but it still hangs, a fragile form of lingerie, enhancing the beauty of an already magical landscape.<\/p>\n

\"Estruscan<\/a>

Civita Di Bagnoregio<\/p><\/div>\n

It’s Civita di Bagnoregio, a 2500 year-old cobbled city rising atop a plateau in a verdant valley. We’re an hour north of Rome, and it’s not the first time we’ve been utterly stunned by the sites we’ve visited on our 2-week itinerary in Italy<\/a>.<\/p>\n

\"LakeWe felt the same way when we woke up to find a picturesque autumn Lake Bled out the window of our Bed and Breakfast in Slovenia. Perched on the “Lovers Walk” outside Riomaggiore in the Cinque Terre, our gasps were audible.<\/p>\n

\"Cinque<\/a>

Riomaggiore from the Lover’s Walk<\/p><\/div>\n

Ok, But Back to the Vasectomy?<\/h2>\n

It’s a starkly different picture from the vasectomy experience, but believe it or not, the means and the motivations to accomplish both were the same.<\/p>\n

The vasectomy had to happen. \u00a0We make some beautiful kids, and we love them, all four of them, but something had to be done there.<\/p>\n

Not dissimilar, a trip to Italy was going to happen. \u00a0With a bit of an infatuation for ancient Rome, I had a thirst that wasn’t going to quench itself.<\/p>\n

And What do They Have in Common, Again?<\/h2>\n

In both instances I was able to achieve my objectives for a fraction of a fraction of the expected cost because I was flexible in how I went about getting what I want.<\/p>\n

The student-snip? $50, Valium included. \u00a0I could have paid $800 going anywhere else. (Strangely, health insurance companies obviously don’t understand the concept of risk\/reward). I had to drive an hour away and endure the added stress of scrotum preoccupation.<\/p>\n

Our trip to Italy, some $1600 – mostly in fuel, tolls, and food costs. \u00a0I could have easily had to pay more than $6000, but I didn’t. \u00a0I booked our $2600 tickets with 80k AA miles and $162. I had to fly into Venice and out of Rome (not exactly an inconvenience). When a wrinkle in our flight schedules came up, a made a tiny complaint and got back 20k AA miles. We stayed 13 nights in free hotel-stays. \u00a0No wait, they did make us pay the 3 euro city fee in a couple places.<\/p>\n

Sounds Cool, Man, But You Went from Funny Vasectomy Guy to Travel-Bragging Guy<\/h2>\n

How did I do it? \u00a0You see, I have a problem… it’s a value computation problem. \u00a0Everyone else goes to a restaurant and they pick something off the menu that sounds good. \u00a0Not me. \u00a0I seek out menu-inefficiencies. \u00a0I’ll try to combine a-la-carte items. I have no shame in ordering off the kid’s menu. Split plates? Come, that’s child’s play.<\/p>\n

But it’s a problem that comes in handy for people like you – people who want to learn how to travel with the same value-conscientiousness. Or wait, was it the vasectomy thing that drew you in? \u00a0Well, if it was, maybe you’ll want to learn how to travel the “free” way now anyways.<\/p>\n

How to Travel the “Free” Way<\/h2>\n

For more than three years now, I’ve been ravaging frequent-flyer mile programs… not the casual here a few there a \u00a0few, I’m talking, like, chubby-kid-under-the-pi\u00f1ata aggressive. I’m too impatient to accumulate them the old-fashioned way. \u00a0I want them all and I want them now.<\/p>\n

And I’m getting them… more than 2 million of them, in fact. \u00a0Just last week I did an “App-o-rama” and if you think that sounds fun, you ought to try it. \u00a0I’ll pull down 185,000 miles and points from the 4 cards I applied for in one day:<\/p>\n